After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
