Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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