Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
