I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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