she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
