nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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