i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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