Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
