These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
