garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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