Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
