In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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