i may or may not be watching the land before time
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
