So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
