I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
