Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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