Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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