the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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