he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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