Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
