I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
