Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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