Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize