i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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