He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I will be naked everywhere
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't turn off my feet"
This is my gift to your gina
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
