I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
