you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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