We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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