just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
