after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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