It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
