three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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