i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
