clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
