Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have feelings that need drinking.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
