So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
