"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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