i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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