i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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