And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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