i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
