The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
