So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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