This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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