I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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