Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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