y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
