I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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