u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
