Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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