I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
