woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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