oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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