I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
