worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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