My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
