so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
