Can Purell be used as lube?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
