i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
