billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
