Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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