your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
