Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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